Searching for the silver lining
Monday was my mother’s birthday. If she were still alive, my huge immediate family (six siblings, spouses and kids) would have celebrated together: consuming lots of food and drink, and making plenty of noise—maybe even playing a rousing game of pick-up charades around the dining room table. Since she died 18 years ago, my sisters and I have created a new tradition. We spend my mother’s birthday just the four of us. We walk the beach, play games, eat, drink and remember our mother with tears and laughter. For me, it has become a day that not only reminds me of her, but also confirms that no matter how painful life can be, there is hope that something good will come from the suffering. Sisters Day is a gift we give each other in honor of our mother who loved us so well. For me, the day has come to symbolize how the worst times in my life were also moments that led to the greatest personal growth, empathy for others, and gratitude for life’s blessings. Still, I have to admit, the potential for personal growth offers little consolation when you’re in the middle of heart-wrenching pain. As my family now faces every parent’s nightmare, a sick child, I try to remind myself to search for the silver lining—that we will get through this hard time and be better for it. (I’ll have to get back to you on how we do with that.)