On decades of marriage
On this day, August 25, my husband and I celebrate 22 years of marriage. The years, which have gone quickly (I never thought I would get this old so fast), have not always been easy. For one thing, it has not been the happily-ever-after story I heard about growing up. There have been hard times. We have disappointed, hurt, and angered each other more often than I care to admit. We have also laughed, danced, and shared the most incredible moments of our lives. We buried our parents—each one an almost unbearable loss. We created two healthy children—amazing gifts. And through it all, we have learned that being persistent (aka stubborn) in our focus to make it work has its own rewards. I guess I’m no Hallmark sentimentalist: I don’t believe storybook romances or love at first sight lasts—at least not in the real world. When it comes to romance, eventually real life intrudes with the daily-ness of bed head, bad moods, and work to be done. But real life is also laughing at late-night comics, singing a favorite tune together, smiling at sleeping cats, and watching your children grow. In the end, it is simply that life is better together; so you stay and compromise, you work on kindness and forgiveness—and you try always to love each other. As Yeats said, “How many loved your moments of glad grace, and loved your beauty with love false or true; But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you, and loved the sorrows of your changing face.” For this I am most grateful.