jackiedoherty.org

I’ve always hated phrases such as “throws like a girl” and “girl pushups” because they indicate something presumably not as good as the male counterpart. As a lifelong feminist in the best sense of the word, this bothers me on two levels—first because being a girl is obviously not less than being a boy, and second because the phrase is used to mean not as good as how a boy does it— and even I can’t escape feeling that way about the phrase. For instance, I was not thrilled when I met a reader from Dracut last week, who told me he had been enjoying my blog all summer, which made me happy, until he added: “Kind of a girly blog, huh?” Girly blog? Me!? When I expressed my dismay, he defended his word choice by noting previous posts about flowers. We had published those posts, as well as others that could be considered girly if you prescribe certain aspects of life to one gender or another. (Men can’t like gardens? Women can’t enjoy sports?) In its purest sense, this is the whole point of feminism: to define interests and identity beyond the confines of gender. On the other hand, I feel compelled to admit that as a young mother, I was surprised when my toddler son was absolutely ecstatic by the weekly arrival of the garbage truck while his younger sister had a strong affinity for dolls. I have since recognized there are innate differences in many of us—my children included, but I spent my youth trying NOT to be confined by those roles. (I was the adolescent girl who wanted to play football rather than bake cookies despite my mother’s pleading.) At this point in my life, I surrender to the culture, genes, and tradition that make it so, but I will not yield on this universal truth: We are comprised of many facets that incorporate traditionally defined notions of masculine and feminine. I happen to throw a football well and can do a fair number of full push-ups. I also cry at sad movies and love to dance. As far as my blog, I make no apologies for the varied interests expressed here and only hope that you too are able to define yourself beyond gender.